Thursday, August 6, 2009

[USS Chimera] || SB 234: UNITY || SD 240908.06 Duty Log, RAdm. Shane Guzman

"shane.guzman@mojwap.sk" <shane.guzman@mojwap.sk> wrote to chimera@ucip.org:

====== Dining hall, Starbase Padassa, Quorum
space ======

The relation between the Klingon forces and Shane as rank
highest Starfleet officer on Padassa was not very good. For
Shane's part, he would just ignore it, but since other
Starfleet forces would arrive on the sector within 48 hours,
he could not leave the matter unattended.

The problem was Shane's unwillingness to share Warrior
feasts with the Klingon Commanders. He was not ready to show
his courage in a battle contest, nor was he willing to
listen to songs of glorious battles. That earned him a
slight despise by the Klingon Commanders.

Being an ex-TAC officer, Shane developed a plan how to
change the current status. He needed a few resources and it
took almost 12 hours to deliver them to Shane. In the mean
time, Shane memorized a few Klingon phrases, since he knew
that knowledge of Klingon words (and insults) will play a
crucial role in his plan.

It was usual routine for the Klingon officers on board
Padassa to gather for a common meal in the main dining room
and Shane choose just this place to perform his plan. As
usual, he was escorted by two security guards and upon
mid-day (local time) he entered the dining hall. As
expected, it was full with Klingons, inclusive Captain
MoQes, who served as the Klingon force leader until a proper
ambassador will arrive.

Walking inside the hall (with a small package in his hand),
Shane called: "Captain MoQes, I need to talk to you"

"SoHvaD pagh vIjatlh, tera'ngan!" [I have nothing to say to
you, human!] said MoQes and turned back to pay attention to
his bowl.

"bIjatlh 'e' yImev verengan Ha'DIbaH" [Shut up, Ferengi
hound!] Shane called to the sitting Klingon. The hall went
suddenly quiet. All present Klingons looked at their leader
and waited for his reaction on this insult.

MoQes remained silent and stared at Shane. True to his plan,
Shane motioned his two guards to stay behind and walked
erectly over to MoQes's table. He looked with despise at the
large bowl in front of the Klingon leader and said: "What's
this? You call this 'gagh'?" He swiftly took the bowl and
threw it behind. With a loud crash it fell to the ground and
shattered in many pieces, spilling the vermin like content
on the floor.

The situation was rather tense, but Shane showed no sign
fear. With a loud 'thump' he placed the little package on
the table and unpacked it quickly. The content of the
package was a duranium bowl full of still alive reddish
vermin. "THIS" he shouted, "I call a gagh". Without any
marks of hesitation, he took a hand full of alive vermin and
put it into his mouth, devouring them with (at least it
looked so) passion.

After what seemed an eternity, MoQes started to laugh. For a
few seconds only the sound of his laugh was to hear in the
hall, but suddenly all other Klingons started to laugh
along. After a few seconds MoQes shouted: "majQa' " [well
done!] and punched Shane in his chest. Only with luck Shane
remained on his feets and punched the Klingon leader back.

Suddenly it seemed that all bad was forgotten … since
Guzman showed courage and honour. There were not many humans
who were ready to eat fresh gagh and dared to insult the
great MoQes upon a meal.

======= USS Qashqai, Some laters
======

All green in face, Shane was vomiting. He felt rather sick
and the reasons were crystal clear. He never liked rough
food and that vermin food was of really bad taste. He was
lucky to leave the dining hall early enough not to show any
signs of his starting sickness. Arriving swiftly on the
Qashqai, Shane went immediately to his quarters. After
another dose of unprocessed food landed in the toilette,
Shane asked himself if the whole event was worth the effort.

====== End of log ======

RAdm. Shane Guzman
CO, 1st TF, SSF Command
CO, SB 234: UNITY